I happened across this article last week from Stephanie Harper and thought it was fantastic.

I don’t know about the majority of you out there, but I do have a tendency to worry, and then I’ll let it go, but then I’ll worry a little more about it.

This article so beautifully discusses that and how to let it all just go……

Enjoy!

-Crystal

5 THINGS I CAN’T WORRY ABOUT ANYMORE

My focus should be on wellness, on getting better and continuing to learn how to cope with my situation, how to find joy and gratitude in my life, in the people who surround me. I should be focused on this. There are some things I just can’t worry about anymore.

My Love Life

Perhaps it seems a little silly to have this on the list. After all, I have a lot going on right now. Deciding whether or not to swipe right or left should perhaps be the last thing on my mind.  I crave connection and contact in the midst of all of this.

I worry that I am going to lose out on my chance to be in love in that singular, most intimate way. As I watch my friends get married and have babies, I worry that this is just not something in the cards for me. And, I want it. I want it all. I want to love and share my life with someone.

But I also need to get well and be comfortable with my situation, who I am and what I am going through. I need this for me and I need this to be a partner to someone else. So, instead of worrying about a future of cats and spinsterhood, I will focus on being my best self and loving who and what I already have to the best of my ability. And, I will trust that the rest of it will come.

Keeping Up With My Peers

It’s difficult not to feel a little insecure about my life right now. I am not financially stable. I do not have the independence I long for, that so many people my age are finally enjoying now that the economy has begun to shift and jobs are becoming available. While I am thankful for Medicaid, the system can be difficult to navigate and a little humiliating at times. It’s hard not to look at others’ success and worry about my own missteps.

But I cannot measure my own success against that of my peers. I have to honor the setbacks. I can’t worry about how all of this stacks up against everyone else. I have to measure my triumphs in a way that does not minimize them, but instead celebrates what I have been able to do. Just me. Life is not a competition and I am not running a race. I need to focus on being who I want to be and not let the rest of it matter so very much.

What Other People Think of My Situation

I wish it didn’t matter how other people view me and my situation, but it does. I want people to understand and respect what I am going through. There are a few reasons for this. First, I worry that people don’t believe me, or at least don’t really appreciate how difficult things are for me on a daily basis.

I worry that people think I am a life failure, that I’ve just gotten lazy or I don’t try hard enough to overcome the obstacles my chronic pain sets forth. I guess I just worry that people are disappointed in me. Sometimes, I worry it’s the people I love the most who might feel this way. This fear can be incapacitating.

On the other hand, I want people to understand what I am going through because I crave the validation. I want people to pat me on the back and say “you are strong” or “you are brave” because sometimes I don’t feel like either of those things and it’s nice to hear someone say it. Sometimes I worry if they don’t say it, they don’t believe it, and it’s not true.

But I can’t worry about any of that. It’s not anybody else’s responsibility to validate my situation. I know what I experience, I live it every day, and as much as I want others to understand it, they aren’t me. I also can’t forget that it’s a lot to ask, for people to live in my struggle with me. As much as it takes out of me, it takes out of them too. I can’t worry that people don’t know exactly what I’m going through, when they show me every day that they love me and support me. That is enough.

The Life I Thought I Would Have

I just turned 27. I thought I would have a book published, or at least be a bit farther along in the publishing process by now. I thought I’d have gotten a substantial start on my next big project. I thought my career would be well under way.

This is unfair. I am working hard, and I have accomplished things. Yes, sometimes I have to take naps, and sometimes I go for days at a time where I can’t work, where I can’t even look at a computer screen, but that doesn’t mean that I have given up. I push forward every day. I find ways to make it all work. I have to stop worrying about where I thought I’d be, and see the progress in where I’ve gotten.

The Future

It’s impossible not to worry about the future. And, there is some value in thinking about where you’d like to be in a few years. It’s how we set goals, challenge ourselves, make changes for the better. The danger comes in obsessing about a future where you just can’t imagine liking what you see.

And I can’t worry about what that means. I can’t worry about what that means for the rest of my life. I have to focus on the here and now, what I’m doing today, and every day, to not just get by but to fill my life with joy and gratitude.

And more than anything, I have to let that be enough for me.

The actual article can be found here.