On Christmas Day 2011, Ben Breedlove’s soul went to heaven. But it wasn’t his first time there. Ben suffered from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM), a heart condition that posed a constant risk of sudden death. His condition, a thickening of the heart muscle, worsened over time, leaving him weak and fatigued. It also led Ben to some close calls medically, in particular cardiac arrest on four separate occasions, during which he felt the presence of angels and experienced the perfect peace of heaven.

Unbeknownst to his parents and family, Ben created a two-part video called “This Is My Story,” in which he used flash cards to tell the world about his near-death experiences and his beckoning toward heaven.

When he died a short while later at the tender age of eighteen, his family and the rest of the world stumbled upon these videos. The world responded with overwhelming acceptance of the message Ben shared.

This was a beautiful story that I happened to see while I was out getting my groceries one day.

I rarely buy books, only because I read so much, so I immediately put in on hold at the library and I’m so glad I did. It was a tender, loving, sweet story of a boy who lived with intention. Ben had HCM, which made me weepy as I read the story because with Duchenne, cardiomyopathy is a condition that most boys will get and that typically can end their lives.

Below are my favorite quotes from the book:

White. Pure White. Ben could see no walls, but only white, a brighter white than he could ever describe that seemed to engulf his surroundings in every direction. In the whiteness, Ben listened to the most quiet he had ever heard in his life.

Then he saw a full length mirror in front of him. He stared at it intently. He was not only looking at his reflection, he was looking at his entire life.

After having an echocardiogram, the doctor told the family that Ben has a condition known as Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, making it difficult for his heart to pump blood throughout his body. There is no cure. He will have this disease for the rest of his life. HCM can cause sudden death.

When Ben turned 4 years old, his cardiologist gave him an additional diagnosis of Long QT Syndrome. Similar to HCM, this condition consisted of a type of heartbeat that could lead to fainting, seizures, and sudden death. Patients could also experience sudden death during sleep, when being startled by a loud noise, or when physically exerting themselves too much.

The first time Ben cheated death he was 4 years old. He had a 45 minute seizure.

On Ben’s college application he wrote, “When I was 4 years old, I had a seizure… The only part that I remember is when they were wheeling me down a long dark hall on a stretcher. No lights were on and my mom was walking alongside me at a quick speed. I was lying there, staring up at the ceiling, and there was this huge bright white light right above me, about as long and wide as the stretcher. I said to my mom, “Look at that bright light”.

She responded that there was no light, that the hallway lights were all turned off.

I got a feeling that I didn’t have to care about anything that was happening in the world at that moment. I couldn’t see anything else around me, not even in my peripheral vision, just this bright white light above me. Nothing could be heard; everything was calm. I have always prayed to God about my heart, that I would stay healthy, and whenever I’m scared about something having to do with my heart, that I will just be calm.

One day Ben asked his mom, “Am I going to die?”

She answered, “Yes, we’re all going to die, and none of us know when. I have asthma and I could have an attack and not recover. Your heart condition does give you a risk, but only God knows when we’re going to die. We don’t need to live our lives like they’re death sentences; we need to ENJOY our lives.”

After his death, his brother Jake said, “I know that Ben is happier than he has ever been before”.  It was so peaceful to know that Jake had real peace and real comfort knowing his brother was in good hands. She {his mom} felt the same way, she was not happy to be apart from Ben, but they were truly happy for Ben. No more hospitalizations, no more treatments or monitors. No more worrying about his heart.

Everyone was sad for themselves after Ben passed, but had real joy in knowing that Ben had “graduated” and was not residing in heaven. They were suffering his loss, but he was free.